When what you wanted turns out wrong.

I’m sure you’ve had this happen to you. You want something so badly, but when the time comes that you have that thing, it changes. The appeal is gone. The shininess has rubbed away. Things change.

It happens when you least expect it. Sometimes stemming from the most mundane things, but more often than not it applies to some big decisions.

That Chipotle burrito sounded awesome when I was walking through the mall. But now that I actually have it in front of me? Much less appealing. (Okay, so maybe this was a bad example. Burritos are always a great decision.)

For the longest time, I thought that I wanted to be in a situation where someone doted on me hand and foot. Someone who thought that every little thing I did made a difference to them, was actually meaningful in their life. I’ve never been one for making myself the center of the world, but the idea always sounded nice.

Over the last week, I had some chats with someone who acted out those motions. It started off cute- telling me that my sass was funny. That it’s awesome that I’m so involved and have such a strong sense of drive. And that was great; I felt like someone finally noticed the little things that just seem like motions in my every day routine.

But then all at once, it became too much. Suddenly, it was like everything I did or said needed to be commented on.
“What are you up to?”
“Oh, just heading to the gym for a little bit.”
“I think it’s so sexy that you work out.”

The little comments became so unnecessarily frequent that it drove me insane. I snapped and made a comment back, “Are you just always going to say that no matter what I’m doing, it’s attractive? Calm it down.” Bam. Hit the nail on the head, never to be heard from again.

That attention that I thought I craved? I realized that I am far from the type of person that needs that. I like my independence, and I don’t need some hair gel clad dude to give me a stamp of approval on every bit of my day. No thanks, I’ll keep to myself.

Sometimes you realize that those things that you wanted so badly keep you from doing you. Live and learn.

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One thought on “When what you wanted turns out wrong.

  1. I know what you mean! Those comments get annoying fast… What are they trying to brown nose you for, sex??

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